As Written by Liss

Why do I stay?

What is it that makes me stay?

You don’t listen. Nor you care enough.

You treat me bad. And at times, you just act like asshole.

Why do I stay?

Am I that lonely that I put up with all the crap you put me through?

I guess I am.

So I plaster on a smile and I let you believe I don’t care too.

I realize that I am stupid.

I realize that I could have had better.

But I stay.

Because I think I deserve this.

I deserve to be treated like shit.

I no longer miss you. Not so much like before. I think I stopped missing you a while back. I miss you sometimes - just the memories of it.

It’s lonely where I am, but I like it. I like the silence and I like that I am free. I am free to be the person I am supposed to be, free to chase a dream that I never knew I wanted until today, free to just be free.

I’m sorry. I don’t want you back. I can’t have you back.

P/s: I was happy with you before. It was when I knew I never made you happy that I couldn’t.

It’s been awhile since I last ramble. Life has been busy, hectic and confusing. Overall, I lost reign of my life-carriage somewhere along the way and have yet to retrieve it.

At this moment, I just feel empty. Like I’ve just sold another part of me to the devil and there’s no regretting the moment. It has happened and I could do nothing about it.

I wish I understand why I could not be more tough on myself. Why can’t I take control?

And she was born to the world, a cute little girl, her life as white as a cotton, waiting to be painted on.

The whole day I’ve been sitting in this chair and waiting.

Waiting for answers.

Waiting for someone to show they care.

Waiting for someone to realize that I need a little cheering up.

I call people up and it goes to the voicemail.

I texted people and I get no replies.

I miss you.

Don’t you miss me?

Don’t you think of me?

Don’t you even wonder?

Or am I just fooling myself that you do care?

When in truth, you don’t.

Ever go through your phone and you could not find a single person that you would prioritize you immediately?

I’m there now.

I’m always there.

I always feel that no one wants to be friends with a depressive person.

No one likes complaining people.

Everyone wants happy people.

It’s not that I feel depressive.

I just feel lonely.

And, knowing that most are either too busy, occupied, has jobs, or etc etc, turns it into depressive.

Is there anyone out there that would talk to me?

Just for a little while, or the whole day..

Just until I would not feel empty.

Love stings. To love hurts. To put one’s heart out there again is scary. Everyone knows that. Everyone feels it. But does it mean we should never learn to love again

Human heart is a magical thing. It can love a person, and it can love many. It can hate a person, and it can hate the whole world. So we were heartbroken. Big Deal! Everyone gets their heart broken every now and again. That is what makes the experience of loving even more interesting. The challenge to overcome past mistakes and create new ones.

Every moment of loving is worth the pain that we feel. If it is not, why do we struggle to find our Perfect Partner? Our True Love has been destined for us. So, why worry? Give love a try and another try and another. Love never gives up on you. So, it will be pretty unfair to give up on it, wouldn’t it?

Dare yourself to love. Start slow. Be friends with those you like. You may never know if that person might just be your forever after.

I want to be that sweet temptation on your mind.

I want to be the blanket in your sleep.

I want to be the heat in your blood.

I want to be the seduction you can’t resist.

I made you scared, didn’t I?

Not the shiver I-don’t-want-to-look-under-the-bed scared.

The scared that stops your heart for one second and the realization that I am already inside your safety zone.

Don’t you worry my dear one.

I know my way in, I definitely know my way out.

But, just so you know, the damage has been done.

Remember me.

Always.

There will be a time when you moved on.

But, I’ll be there.

Smiling knowingly.

I don’t care what others think of you nor how you perceive yourself, because to me, you are BEAUTIFUL… Please hear me why-

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depts. These people have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Now you know why you’re beautiful, always. Always. ;)
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